LesSpoof 3

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You won't believe what happened!

~ If you ever drop your keys into a pool of lava, forget about them, cuz man, they're gone ~
Jack Handey

MEDICINE
Two thumbs up for Dr. Ohger's revolutionary method

Dr. Bo Ohger doing one of his presentations

Mr. and Mrs. Doigt enjoying new, pain-free life

Narine Doigt from Lafayette, Louisiana suffered from chronic migraine headaches most of her adult life. She visited many doctors and tried several medications, including Imitrex, Maxalt and Axert, but nothing seemed to bring relief. Narine was desperate and decided to try homeopathy and acupuncture. While she did experience some improvement and her headaches became a little less intense, they still lasted for days, turning her everyday life into a complete misery. And just when she thought she would have to suffer these debilitating headaches for the rest of her life, her husband happened upon a new study conducted by Dr. Bo Ohger from the Myook Kus Medical Institute in Rayong, Thailand. Dr. Ohger had been studying alternative methods of curing migraine for 7 years and had just published an article in the Thailand Journal of Medicine. In it, he describes a method that combines aggressive nose picking (the "nostril tornado method") with wetting the feet in the mixture of hot prune juice and sage. "By picking your nose aggressively, you massage the septum which causes your nostril to open up and oxygenate the part of the brain where migraine headaches normally reside. As far as the prune juice and sage mixture, I would much rather keep that a secret" said Dr. Ohger in a recent interview for CNN.
Mrs. Doigt can't thank Dr. Ohger and his clinic enough. "I can't thank Dr. Ohger and his dedicated staff enough. He is a true miracle worker. I feel like he gave me my life back" she said recently after coming back from vacation in the Polish town of Trzebinia, her first vacation in years.
A whopping 89% of Dr. Ohger's patients showed major improvement in the first month of the study. The other 11% showed some improvement. 3% complained about their toes turning permanently pruny. Dr. Ohger is planning a series of extensive workshops in many American cities. To reserve tickets call: 1-800-HEAD-AKE. Useful link: kidshealth Completely useless link: collideascope

SPORTS AND GAMES
Rubik's Cube: It's back!

If you thought the Rubik's Cube faded into oblivion, you were wrong. This wonderful little game captured the attention of thousands of viewers in Chicago this past weekend, where two of the best Rubik Cube solvers faced each other for the title of the next World Champion. Lamon Brewster, an American law student, and Andrzej Golota, a professor of history at the Warsaw University, sat across from each other, and waited for the judge to give the signal.
It was an intense and close game, and for a while it looked like Brewster had the control, but the Polish historian showed an incredible spirit and finished first, beating the new world record: 53 seconds! After the game, the jubilant Pole announced that this was his last game, and that he would retire from this highly competitive and popular sport. Useful link: cube Completely useless link: golota

HEALTHY TRENDS
Give your inner child a swing

It works!

Dr. Tafka and his wife
in front of their Fiji clinic

At first you might feel just a little uncomfortable, but with proper guidance and the right attitude you also can join the club of the Inner Child Swingers. This new trend came from New Zealand, and is catching on quickly around the world. New Zealand's leading anger management therapist, Dr. Huss Tafka, has been treating patients with serious anger issues using the most unusual therapy: swinging. "I can understand you might think it's silly, but I assure you, it works like nothing else. Everyone needs to reconnect with their inner child. Swinging allows you to vent your anger and completely forget about all of your troubles. It works a lot better than the first method we developed, which was mainly based on blowing bubbles and eating kosher food. Plus, it's heaps of fun!" says Dr. Tafka. His clinic at Castaway Island in Fiji has attracted quite a few celebrities who couldn't cope with their sudden outbursts of anger, and decided to check in the clinic to get help. "I was at the end of my rope, and if it wasn't for Dr. Tafka and his inner child approach, I might actually have gone back to playing tennis" said John McEnroe, who spent three weeks in the clinic and came back to the United States completely cured. Other patients who have been through the Inner Child Swingers program include: Elton John, Dennis Rodman, Roman Giertych, Darth Vader and Prince Charles.
Useful link: gorillaplaysets Completely useless link: McEnroe